Those favouring low-intellectual, ludicrously taste-defunct bullshit as The Next Generation, Star Trek “Seven of Nine” Voyager and The Original Series, undeniably your taste is of heniously low a level. So low in fact that would the Great Guide of the Third Empire still be alive, he would send you to a good and merry place to learn that working creates freedom, also he would perform some obscure medical experiments on you to see if you and your twin were stitched together sans anæsthetica, would you two magically turn into a siamese monstrosity belowman limiting the growth and grandiose of the Third Empire.
It is obviously apparent to any person with a taste adequate enough to resemble my own in some faint ways that Star Trek: Deep Space Nine is largely and without doubt the best product the franchise, which has lately turned Kirk into a boyband singer, had to offer thus far. Come on, even triëpisodal (word from now on, live with it) characters like Luther Sloan in Deep Space Nine had more character development than even Data—being the only character from The Next Generation one can even notice from if the episodes are aired in arbirtrary order. Gene was a sentimental bitch who probably disapproved of the merciless inhumane mistreatment of Jews during the holocaust too, priorities are essential for a growing Germanic Reich. The moral infallibility of the cast of The Next Generation just reeks of Lord of the Rings, they’re not human any-more, especially Data, live with it bitch, you’re not human, you’re a third class citizen, your penis is made of sillicone flesh, never will a girl dig a low class citizen like you. Deep Space Nine didn’t have ‘good / evil’, the characters were along a line, some of the main characters—as obfuscated that term in DS9 is any-way—also had questionable moral traits. Gul Dukat, maybe a villain? Who knows, some-times an ally, also with his human traits, in the end partly misunderstood (emo), maybe even a deluded tragic hero fighting for the wrong cause, portrayed as still giving up his career for his interracial daughter. Not even Great Hitler would do that eh? And Garak of course, you’d never know if he was the ally or not, you could until the end just see him having been a spy in the lengthily arc of the seven seasons all along. Both ‘recurring’ Cardassians having a far more realistic and complicated personality than the shallow characters of The Next Generation ever had. So many recurring characters taking the lead in so many episode. Garak was perhaps the main focus of the show for some seasons; the lengthily story arcs, the profound implications of all they did being addressed later. The rich world, the moral conflicts, the humanity of the characters of both sides.
The Prophets were a great asset too to the otherwise “”"”scientific”"”" Star Trek (for some reason people still don’t realize you don’t have to keep your impulse engines on if you go through a medium with no resistance, also, if you keep them on you keep accelarating, seeing that they reach eighty per cent of the speed of light in mere seconds according to the manual…), the mystical non-linear godlike nature of them, defying all normal physics, the prophecies, the orbs, the battle against Kosst Amojan. People who fail to realize that this is objectively superior to some stupid battle against the Borg at Wolf 359 obviously have some scary mental disorder which also manifests symptoms like believing Jews are actually human and girls below nine years old don’t crave anal sex, delusionate, go see a shrink, and if you don’t see you’re delusionate that means you’re even more.
And Quark, a main character (because it’s stated so really) but you never know if he’s the bad guy or not, morally dubious, above the law in a way, yet still friends with some of the cast, but not all, the cast doesn’t get along with every other person in the cast, it’s a directed graph. Bashir and O’Brien are obviouly brokebackmountaining off screen, Kira kind of openly hates Quark and has a fetish for strange partly translucent goos, sick girl. Odo and Quark’s bond is most intriguing, he really kind of sees him as a friend regardless of Quark being a borderline criminal. Not to mention kind of a ridiculously hypersexist capitalist, freaky disturbed people, forcing women to be nude when they look like that? Also, it rains like hell on that planet, cut them some slack. Naturally, the bond between Bashir and Garak is most intricate, are they friends? maybe they are. Do they trust each other? obviously not. Besides, again a ‘recurring’ character having a more interesting and plotwise-crucial backstory than any main character in any other Franchise ever had. When Jadzia thought she didn’t earn enough Latinum (It’s just a region close to Rome you know) and went all emo and committed suicide and wrote an emo title song ‘Tears of the Prophets’ for it, they should have made Garak a main cast member and just port Ezri to the ‘recurring’ characters. Ezri was also a splendid action, a bloody reverse-Seven of Nine, trade the shallow and cheaply attractive bold woman for the insecure and cute girl with short hair. If only Jadzia had thrice the net value of boobs combined with the obligatory spandex suit just so we noticed more it would be complete. If you cannot see why this is good, I contend you have been fucked in your eye socket one time to many, a good tip is to re-use the same one every time by the way, loosing stereoscopic vision is a small price to pay for living out your derangedly obscure hot fetishes.
Also, the abundance of recurring-but-actually-main-cast characters made it quite easy to have some play with the main cast without having to adjust the format extensively. Characters like Vic Fontain and Nog—who had a whole episode devoted to their bond together—gaining extensive screentime during the final seasons. Naturally Garak, the recurring character who, rightfully for a change, is the absolute popular favourite of the show and symbol of what DS9 is and of course Kai Winn, being most instrumental in the final episode. Damar, Dukat, Weyoun 8, The Female Changeling, Weyoun 6, Weyoun 7, that random figurating redshirt I and no-one remembers and of course Weyoun 5.
Favourite characters: Garak (obviously), Gul Dukat, Bashir, Ezri Dax, Vic Fontaine
Favourite plot elements: The Emissary of the Prophets, a large part civilian cast, the past of Garak, the moral struggly, the story arcs.
Favourite reverse-Seven-of-Nine: Ezri Dax.
Favourite badarse food: Gagh, Kanar, Bajorans in general.
Be convinced, woman, or I so hope both, like Sofie. <3
